


I saw a werewolf drinking Pina Colada

by VileVenom



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: But he has a rather nice member of the sheriff's secret police in his garden, Carlos explodes stuff in his lab, M/M, and Cecil doesn't know when a bad time to joke is, but he tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 20:21:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/957233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VileVenom/pseuds/VileVenom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos should know better than to experiment on random bits of goo he found laying about without proper safety gear by now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I saw a werewolf drinking Pina Colada

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired (oh so very loosely) by this post: http://quantumjunction.tumblr.com/post/60021774118/somehow-i-thought-this-was-funny-squish-oh  
> By QuantumJunction on tumblr.
> 
> Title from Warren Zevon's 'Werewolves of London'  
>  _(I saw a werewolf drinking pina colada at Trader Vic's,  
>  And his hair was perfect)_

"Carlooooooooooooooos!~"

Carlos flinched when Cecil’s voice filtered through his door, followed by the light rapping he knew was the radio hosts’ knuckles colliding with the wood of his door in a polite, but loud knock.

"Carlos? I know you’re home, Carlos. There is a very nice member of the sheriff’s secret police sitting in your bushes." Carlos heard Cecil mutter an apology to the officer, who had apparently thought that he would be inconspicuous in Carlos’ bushes, despite the fact that he was often clad entirely in black, and Carlos’ bushes were all varying shades of dying brown. "Ah, uhm, Carlos? Is everything all right?"

Carlos mentally cursed that stupid officer, who had obviously told Cecil about the minor mishap he’d had in his lab with one of the specimens he’d picked up from Radon Canyon earlier in the week.

"If you’re not feeling up to our date, could you at least say so? Or, y’know, slip a note under the door? One in crayon or paint, obviously, since pens and pencils are still banned," Cecil hurried to continue, since the officer in Carlos’ garden was more than likely staring at Cecil expectantly.

"I-" Carlos coughed, his voice still somewhat scratchy from the minor explosion that had caused him to inhale some rather unsavory fumes from his experiment, "I’m not feeling well. Sorry, Cecil."

"It’s quite all right, Carlos," Cecil’s understanding tone filtered through the thick wood of the door, "Not to worry, but, ah-" Carlos could hear Cecil conversing with the officer, "Are, uhm, are you certain you wouldn’t like me to come in?"

"No-I mean, yes!" Carlos squawked, failing about to make sure his curtains were shut securely. He could hear Cecil shuffling on his front porch, obviously hoping to get a glimpse inside.

"This nice officer just wanted me to remind you not to keep your curtains closed, Carlos," Cecil called through the door, a faint rapping of his fingers against the glass of the window nearest Carlos’ front door following. Carlos pressed himself into the corner farthest from the window, before sliding down the wall to bury his face into his knees. His now very fluffy knees.

"Carlos," Cecil’s voice lowered a little, Carlos having to strain a little to hear it filter through the wood, "My dear, sweet, Carlos. You know I’ll still think you’re perfect, no matter what, right? I mean, after all, I already know about your penchant for chewing a bit more loudly than entirely necessary sometimes, and your obsessive need to keep your office supplies at perfect angles on your desk. Oh, and how you never wet your toothbrush before you use it, which I do have to remind you is against the law, as of last Tuesday. Not to mention how absolutely none of your socks match, no matter how many times I have gone through your sock drawer to match them up, and how you have this habit of cleaning your glasses at least three times during every conversation. And yes, I know the number is at least three, because I’ve been keeping track. You see? I can be scientific, too. Which reminds me, that we really can’t seem to have a date without you having to rush off to do something scientific. And while I know that is not your fault in the least, I can’t help but feel a little put-out every time you put a mysterious blue fog or gelatinous fuchsia blob that suddenly appeared in the middle of town square ahead of our dates. But, again, let me just remind you that despite all of those facts, I still find you-"

"Enough!" Carlos snapped, tears in his eyes as he yanked open his front door, his chest heaving a little.

"-perfect," Cecil finished lamely, taking in Carlos’ appearance. The scientist was wearing his usual outfit of jeans, with a loose fitting plaid button-down below his customary white lab coat. What was oddly different was how the bottoms of his jeans were shredded, and his shoes were nowhere to be seen. Which, of course, made sense when realizing that Carlos’ feet had grown into rather intimidating clawed paws. Not to put aside the tears along the rest of the denim with thick tufts of brown fur poking through, leading up to his button-down, which was missing almost all of his buttons, showing off his fluffy brown abdomen. Cecil took in the way Carlos’ now dangerously clawed fingers flexed at his sides, and his face contorted into a look of pain before he turned away with a swish of his lab coat.

"I’m not perfect, Cecil," Carlos grumbled, absently rolling his tongue against the sharp canines that had invaded his mouth. "I get it, okay? You really didn’t need to list off all of my faults that you’re willing to so generously overlook in order to date me. I know perfectly well that there are several members of your precious little town that would like nothing more than to sweep you off your feet, and away from me. And, hey, here’s the big kick to let you off the hook," Carlos ranted, furiously scrubbing at his face to try and keep his salty tears from matting his fur, "I’ve exploded some sort of radioactive rock goo that turned me into-into a werewolf! Or, something." He petered off, glancing down at his hands-paws?- to try and figure out what he should even call himself. After all, it wasn’t a full moon, and he didn’t have any sort of insatiable blood lust. Unless that would only happen under a full moon?

He was pulled from his inward spiral of a scientific pity party by Cecil’s voice. “That’s not what I meant at all, Carlos,” the radio host cooed, moving to stand behind Carlos and gently place his hands on the scientists’ shoulders.

"All of those things I mentioned? They all just make you, well, you. The nervous ticks, and silly little habits; they’re just what make you so endearing to me. It’s not like you’ve tried to pull out a sacrificial dagger and wanted to eat my spleen, is it? Now that would make you a considerably less perfect boyfriend, I do have to say. Carlos…I laid my eyes on you, and I fell in love instantly. There’s nothing in this world, or the world of our malevolently ruling dark gods that could take that away."

"But," Carlos whispered, tipping his head a bit to cast a glance at Cecil from the corner of his eye, "I’ve turned into this." Carlos lifted his hands to show off the long black claws where his short, well manicured nails had once been, waving them about so his long brown fur swayed slightly in the artificial breeze.

"Yes, but you’re still my Carlos," Cecil hummed, moving around to stand before his boyfriend with a soft smile. "I still love and adore you, no matter the amount of fur on your face. Plus, I have to say, the tail and ears make you quite adorable."

"I have a tail?!" Carlos yelped, suddenly swirling around in a circle to get a glimpse of the black tipped tail protruding from the back of his pants, and looking every bit like a dog trying to catch their tail.

"Ah, Carlos," Cecil chuckled, grabbing Carlos by the shoulders to still him, the scientist suddenly looking a little wobbly from spinning in circles, "You sort of missed the point there, I think."

Carlos sighed, his shoulders slumping a little beneath Cecil’s hands. “I-You still love me. Even when I’m being dumb.”

"No! Even when you’re a man-wolf. If you were being dumb, I might have to give our relationship a second thought."

Carlos stared wide eyed at Cecil, before the radio hosts’ face broke out into a grin. “I’m joking, Carlos! Besides, I don’t think you could ever become dumb. You’re so very smart.”

"That was mean," Carlos mumbled, dipping his head a little, his glasses sliding down his snout.

Cecil sighed and placed his fingers below Carlos’ chin, tipping it back up to offer him a smile. “I know, I’m sorry. But, I really do still love you,” he cooed, placing a light kiss on the end of Carlos’ nose. “Now, why don’t we try to figure out how to get you back to normal, hmm? Not that I don’t think you’d make the very best cuddler ever now, but you don’t seem to be very happy as a man-wolf.”

Carlos huffed out a quite laugh, reaching up to brush the back of his knuckles along Cecil’s cheek. “Yeah, okay.”


End file.
